dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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