I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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