that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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