Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
