Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't think brook has ever known best
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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