Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
