you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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