Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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