If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
