I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
