I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A+ Viking dick
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
