I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
