I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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