she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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