Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
