if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize