You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize