Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
