Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
