I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
