I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
wow bdsm is so cute
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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