Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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