Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
