did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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