It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
