Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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