these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize