Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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