Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
