Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize