where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
