brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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