I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
