News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I love you. Go after that dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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