your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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