I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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