I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
