I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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