Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
