i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
