Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
