My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
