Where did you get a picture of my penis
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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