it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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