All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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