so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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