Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
