Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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