This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
