Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
