the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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