I didn't shave. On purpose
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
