I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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