It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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