Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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