we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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