worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
