2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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