Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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