After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
