i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
