The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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