sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
