You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
